So, here's the scoop:

Life + Me = Impending doom to Life.

You see, I've never been good with pets. I've gone through lizards, fish, turtles, parakeets, and a cockatiel. The only pets that managed to survive were the turtles, and those were taken off my family's hands thanks to caring neighbors, and even then, the turtles didn't go unscarred. One had a name change to "Stubby" after my dog got at it...

Granted most of these deaths and accidents were not my fault, but rather a chain of freak accidents that resulted in the death being blamed on either me, my brother, or both. God knows that I can't help it if a strange, contagious nerve disease passes through countless, inbreeding parakeets.

But, alas, this was my fault, according to my parents.

Lesson learned, I plan on aquiring a free kitten on Craigslist. The irony is that my new kitten happens to be more sadistic than me. Stay tuned to for more about the KITTY FROM HELL!